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Adjust/Readjust = Organize/Reorganize

Expert Organizer, Marilyn Shain Labendz, helps with difficult decisions

Welcome to Part 2 of my journey to re-adjust to this "new normal life", (if only through my closets) of losing my husband suddenly.

I have been going from one thing to the other, making decisions, doing paperwork, and trying to keep myself focused all the while spinning like a top. How can I be going at such a dizzying pace and yet feel as if I am in slow motion?

Last blog I posted a few questions about how to re-orient our apartment to cater to my new needs without feeling as if I am discarding the things that speak of him. Here's what I came up with so far:

  • I am holding on to some of his clothing still but I immediately donated a great deal to a men's shelter. Wouldn't my husband be pleased that someone has warm clothes to wear? My sons feel good about taking a few sweaters, etc. and I love seeing them in their dad's clothes.

  • We had turned our guest room into a "den" so that we could do home hemodialysis. The closet had been emptied to hold all the supplies and now I needed to re-purpose that closet. My daughter saved the day when I couldn't think of any solutions. (Again, that's why everyone needs outside help).​

  • ​We moved all of my husband's clothes to one side of the closet and we put the smaller shelving system from the dialysis closet into the newly cleared up space.

  • The serving pieces that had been relegated to the floor of my closet now went back into the den closet where I originally had them.

  • The hanging bar was put back in the den closet, and we cleared hanging space where the shelving system was. Now we had a guest closet again.

  • The recliners are going and a sweet, comfy pullout couch is coming so that I have a true a guest room/office/den for me.

We are working on another big change to make me feel more in control of my space:

  • All of my kids approved of getting a smaller sound system and selling some of their dad's high end stereo equipment. Anyone interested in really good components, contact me, please.

  • Now the big speakers, and I mean big, will be gone and we can now accommodate a small desk for my desktop computer and clear off my dining room table. (I knew how much my husband loved his speakers so my concession was working in the dining room. I learned that it's ok to take back some space for me and my needs).

  • The room still has our art work that we bought together, his piece of furniture that he loved, and the model of his first car is where he liked to see it.

Expert Organizer, Marilyn Shain Labendz, shows how being flexible allows for wise changes.

The lessons that I am still learning about making changes and adapting, especially when you don't want to, is to be flexible and try different things and NOT to be judgmental.

  • We adopt and adapt to survive.

  • We have to set our own timeline. Some take forever, but I need order.

  • There's no place for guilt...I am deleting the golf tournaments and instructions from the DVR list so it has room to record other things to help me pass the time. I think he would want that.

Contact me for help in adapting your space(s) to meet new needs. For me, by the way, organizing is the best therapy. Maybe I can help it be yours.

I encourage you to share this post on all your social media. I so appreciate it.

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